Elin's playlist

Made a playlist for Elin recently after she came to my birthday party and really liked Hem. This one is really lovely, moody and melancholy - just up my street.

Baby steps

I need to reassure myself with thoughts of Cornwall in the summer. I need to bolster myself up with the idea of time with P. that is not fraught and filled with difficulty.
I have been living with P. and the children for 2 months now. It is amazing how time flies when you're stressed out of your head. I am now in the throws of trying to get as much information as possible about the pitfalls and difficulties of becoming a step-parent. I have read loads of things and tried to make sense of it all, but the overwhelming thing that comes across in everything is how hard it is. No!
I was used to having time on my own, space to do what I wanted to do. When I came home from work I could unwind and listen to music, cook, watch TV. Some nights I would see P and that would be something fabulous to look forward to; we spent our time together well, because we knew we weren't going to see each other all the time. I am worried that now the time we are alone, is spent recuperating from the kids. When Paul and I were not living together I was a refuge for him, but now I need a refuge too.
My relationship with the children is evolving, some things are getting easier, but some things are harder. I must try to keep my head and talk to P about the things that worry me. But I need to feel that it is OK to feel bad and that we will work on it together and support each other. I need to also know that we will continue to have a grown up relationship separate from his children.
It is also hard because I don't want him to feel like I am on his case, I want to support and help him with the things that he may find hard to cope with on his own.

Want one!!

Coral gave me a lovely diary from Paperchase for my birthday and a notebook from Miquelrius. So I googled stationery and found a great site for Skripta in Paris and they do mail order notebooks. Bliss!!!

Needful things..

Every day I come to work, armed with aselection of absolute essentials to get me through the day. Sketchbook, pens, little box for carrying all around in and then luxuries like magazine, if I'm feeling flush.